2011's First Christmas Joke

[kansasgirl21]

Three good ole boys died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The cowboy from Texas fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

The logger from Minnesota reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The old Nebraska farmer started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'


The Husker replied, 'These are Carols.'

And So The Christmas Season
Begins......

[billynomates]

lmao

[billynomates]

My wife's been dropping me subtle hints this week as to what she wants for Christmas, saying things like " I want something that feels really silky and smooth", "Hope you get it in my size" and "I want to be able to wear it every day".

Boy is she going to love the washing-up gloves I bought.



When I was a child, I always used to search my parent's drawers and cupboards in the run up to Christmas so I'd know exactly what to expect.

Although I never did receive the Vibratron Pleasuremax 3000.