He said what?

[WinJStar]

[KManDeuce]

This is pretty similar to another here, but it's too good...

I had the rare opportunity to play poker yesterday, $6-12 Limit at local card room. A mid-20's fella joins the table and he's got a few buddies with him hovering around to cheer him on or whatever it is they do. They eventually disperse to play other tables, but eventually one of them gets a table change in order to sit with us. He's first surprised and seems upset that he is required to post the big blind to enter the game since he was in another game already. So he decides to wait for his blind (despite that he would be posting in the cutoff). OK, fine. In the meantime, he won't stop talking to his buddy who's actually trying to play. Even in this time, I loved how he told tales of how he was up "way more" before he took a bad beat. Now he's "still up $25...it was $34." So after his self-imposed ten or fifteen minutes sitting out, he posts his big blind. Hand plays out.

In his small blind as he looks down at his cards and gets ready to muck them, "This is ridiculous. I'm not getting any cards at this table. I should have just stayed at the other one." I literally snorted it caught me so off-guard! The depth of ridiculousness on that one is many-layered and fantastic.

He then repeated essentially the same line as he folded his button, and before he had played an orbit he had table-changed back to the one he had come from! Before another orbit had passed, I was leaving and as I was getting up I notice coming in behind me...yep, same guy! He was changing back to our table. Ah, good times.

[giveupleasur]

dealin a cash game- had full table--this one yokel keeps runnin his head- EVERY hand! He whined about suckouts, whined about size of others bets...... then he started on me-" c'mon Dealer, gimme cards" " damn Dealer, do u actually know how to deal" yada yada yada. Well id had enuff n finally looked at him n said " YO dude! Im captain of this ship! Tell ya what imma gonna do..... Im deal u 2 just like everyone else.... play em like their ACES ! Table got quiet,Dealt hold cards, guy looks at his hand n says " well i b damned, U r captain......wtf am i to do with pockets 2's?" he stayed in hand, flop came 2AA-he was delirious- eyes glazed ova n knew hed take pot down, he looks at fellow hes heads up with , smiles big n shoves all in- SNAP call by other guy- they turn hands ova - asshole flopped full house, other guy flopped quads ( yep HE had AA) asshole looks at me n says " RIGGED" i calmly look at him n said" hmmmm. dang sumtimes me aim is lil off" table roared with laughter......asshole rebought n apologized! lol gotta luv it

[The4thHorseman]

I have heard so many hilarious things I wouldn't know where to begin